How to Love Others: Turning Feelings Into Action

Most of us know what it’s like to feel love for someone — but feeling love and showing love are two different things. The people we care about don’t always experience our love just because we feel it internally. They feel it when we express it outwardly in ways that make an impact on them.

So how do we bridge that gap? How do we make sure the people we love actually experience our love the way we intend?

Here are some mindful ways to turn love into action and strengthen your relationships, whether they’re with family, friends, or romantic partners.

1. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

So often we listen while planning what to say next. True love means giving someone your full attention and space. Listen with curiosity and nonjudgment, not an agenda.

That also means avoiding assumptions about what you think they’ll say next. Try not to interrupt or finish their sentences. While it might seem like you know them well, most people want space to think through their own thoughts. Cutting in often disrupts their flow — and can feel frustrating rather than loving.

2. Learn Their Love Language

Not everyone feels loved in the same way. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages are a powerful framework for understanding how others receive love and how we tend to express it:

• Words of Affirmation — kind, encouraging words (“I love the way you smile/sing/dance when you cook”)

• Quality Time — focused, intentional time together (playing a game, taking a walk)

• Receiving Gifts — thoughtful gestures, small or big (flowers, jewelry, a poem)

• Acts of Service — helping, relieving burdens (doing the dishes, offering to drive, taking care of a problem)

• Physical Touch — hugs, closeness, simple connection (massages, kisses, hand on shoulder)

Notice what makes your loved one light up. And if you’re not sure, ask. Don’t assume you already know. Just because someone has accepted or even reciprocated your love language in the past doesn’t mean it’s their preferred way of receiving love.

3. Pay Attention to Their Body

Love isn’t only about words — it’s about presence. Notice body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, even breathing. These subtle cues tell you whether your loved one feels relaxed, stressed, open, or closed off.

If they seem tense, check in gently: “You seem a little stressed — how are you feeling?” This shows attentiveness and helps them feel seen. Just be mindful not to overdo it; balance observation with space so your care doesn’t feel intrusive.

4. Choose the Right Time

If you need to bring up something important, ask if it’s a good time. Respecting someone’s energy and attention shows deep care — and avoids catching them off guard when they’re drained or distracted.

It can be as simple as saying: “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about X. Is now a good time?” If the answer is no, ask: “When might be better?” Respecting boundaries in this way communicates love in action and shows that you don’t just care about yourself.

5. Keep Learning Who They Are Today

We all grow and change. The passions, hobbies, and needs someone had years ago may not be the same today. Keep asking:

• What activities feel the most fun?

• What are you passionate about these days? 

• What’s something new you’ve been learning about?

• What feels most important/challenging/freeing to you in this season of life?

Assuming you “already know” someone can unintentionally create distance. Staying curious helps your loved ones feel valued for who they are now.

Loving Others Is a Practice

Love isn’t static. It’s a living practice that asks us to keep showing up, paying attention, and choosing connection.

Don’t underestimate the value of your presence. If someone is important to you, show up for them — whether through a call, text, video chat, or in person. Engagement matters: Asking questions, staying open to feedback and boundaries, and applying the practices in this article consistently.

If a relationship feels distant, pause and ask yourself: Am I practicing these things regularly, or only once in a while? If not regularly, then that may explain the disconnect. Use it as a signal to check in with your loved one — and instead of assuming, ask what they need. Vulnerability might feel risky, but it’s often what creates deeper trust and connection.

Most importantly, start expressing love. The more you show love, the more love you’ll feel. You don’t have to always “get it right,” and you probably won’t. But if you’re too afraid to even show up, you’ll deprive both of you of a potentially lasting, loving relationship. 

Ready to Go Deeper?

Love begins within. The more you attune to your own needs, thoughts, body, and emotions, the more fully you can show up for others.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog, How to Love Yourself, where I’ll share practices for cultivating the same presence, curiosity, and compassion towards yourself.

And if you’re ready to practice this in community, join Mindful Mavens — a membership for heart-led women building emotional safety, self-mastery, and positive impact. You’ll receive daily group coaching from me plus access to all of my programs and resources in a supportive space designed for growth, connection, and mindful leadership.