Why Slowing Down Feels So Hard — And How to Feel Safe Doing Less
If slowing down feels almost impossible, you’re not alone. You might walk fast, talk fast, eat fast — even when there’s no deadline in sight. You call it “being productive,” but underneath the hustle might be something deeper.
Recently, I decided to challenge myself to walk slowly for an entire day. No urgency, no to-do list, just mindful presence. I wasn’t sure what I would discover, but I was curious enough to try.
What I found was extreme discomfort. My body felt an internal pressure and urgency to speed up again. I had to keep reminding myself to slow back down so I could notice what this was all about.
That’s when an image popped into my mind.
Prefer to watch? I share the story in this video.
Where Our Beliefs Come From
When I moved to the U.S. at ten years old, English was my third language. I often misunderstood instructions and needed extra time to process what was being asked of me. I leaned on the support of a kind paraprofessional who was actually responsible for a different kid, but who took her time to help me.
Most days, instead of hearing “you’re learning something new,” or “it’s hard moving to a new place,” I heard “you’re too slow,” and “hurry up!”
And in that environment, slow didn’t mean thoughtful — it meant stupid. That lesson stuck. My nervous system learned that being fast meant being safe and accepted. Being slow meant there was something wrong with you and that you were inferior.
Why High-Achieving Women Struggle to Slow Down
Even years later, many ambitious, heart-led women still carry versions of that same story. We rush from one task to the next, afraid that if we stop, we’ll fall behind, or worse, be rejected.
We equate our pace with our worth. So many of us were praised when we got things done quickly. So we learned speed and productivity = love and acceptance.
But going fast isn’t always a sign of a healthy drive — it can also be a stress response. The body stays in constant “go” mode to avoid feeling unsafe or inadequate.
Mindfulness asks us to pause long enough to see what’s really happening beneath the rush.
Reclaiming Slow as Safe
As I practiced walking slowly that day, I kept reminding myself: Slowing down doesn’t mean I’m lazy or that I’m failing. It means I’m safe enough to be present and I get to enjoy this moment (even though the initial discomfort can be jarring).
Every time you pause, breathe, or rest — you’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to relax. You’re rewriting the story that worth comes from effort, rushing, or achievement.
👉 You are inherently worthy. There’s nothing you need to do to prove it and no one you need to prove it to 👈
Going slowly — when you’re walking, eating, doing chores, can be the most productive thing you can do for yourself because it shows your mind and body that the present moment is safe, that you won’t be punished if you slow down, and that it’s okay to let yourself just be. And as I recently shared with a client, there’s no reward for finishing life the fastest… 👀
A Simple Practice to Try
Next time you notice yourself rushing, try moving just a little bit slower. Notice what arises:
What emotions or sensations show up?
What story does your mind tell you about being “too slow?”
When do you recall first feeling this way?
What might it mean if you let yourself take your time?
This mindful awareness is where healing begins — not by doing more, but by noticing what happens when you stop the doing.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If you’re dreaming of a safe space to slow down and experiment with different ways of being and showing up in the world (without losing your edge or burning out), consider joining Mindful Mavens — my monthly membership for multipassionate women creating transformational impact in the world through embodying their own gifts, sharing life lessons with others, and leading with openness and curiosity.