Why You Keep Yourself Busy — and Can’t Stop Rushing

In a previous reflection, I explored why going slow feels hard for me. How slowing down can trigger a feeling of being stupid, behind, or somehow less capable.

This article explores the other side of the same pattern: why going fast feels right.

I talk through this realization more personally in this video.

I noticed this recently on a walk, when I caught myself moving quickly without any real reason. Nothing urgent. No deadline. Just momentum. So I paused long enough to ask a simple question: what does going fast mean to me?

The answer came faster than I expected.

“Going fast means I’m important. Being busy means I matter. Rushing means I’m successful and doing the right thing.”

Those weren’t thoughts I’d consciously chosen. They were living under the surface, quietly shaping how I moved through the world.

How Speed Became Linked to Importance

As I sat with those realizations, early memories surfaced.

I remembered being a child playing “grown-up.” Pretending to be a businesswoman. A shopkeeper. A TV infomercial saleswoman 😅

In my imagination, successful adults were always busy. They were moving quickly, taking calls, multitasking, dressed professionally, wearing makeup and heels, always on their way somewhere.

Busyness wasn’t just something adults did. It was how success looked.

Over time, speed became associated with importance, competence, and worth. Not because anyone explicitly taught it to me, but because it was modeled, reinforced, and absorbed again and again.

So it makes sense that slowing down later in life felt uncomfortable. Or that rest felt undeserved. Or that doing less felt wrong.

None of this requires blame. It simply points to how meanings are formed and carried forward, often without us realizing it.

Rushing as a Default Pattern

For me, rushing wasn’t something I did because I consciously thought it would make me feel worthy. I didn’t know why I was busy or moving quickly. It just felt right. Necessary. Like the way things were supposed to be done.

And to be honest, that pull is still there.

Rushing and doing more remains a strong default. When I’m not paying attention, I move quickly. I fill space.

The difference now is awareness.

When I notice the urge to rush or that I’ve been going nonstop for a while, I no longer automatically assume it’s about productivity. More often than not, it’s about self-worth. Wanting to feel needed, relevant, important.

That awareness doesn’t eliminate the pattern, but it gives me a place to pause.

Mindfulness as Clarity, Not Control

Mindfulness, as I practice and teach it, isn’t about forcing yourself to slow down or judging yourself for moving quickly. It’s about seeing more clearly.

I often think of it like a snowglobe. When everything is shaken up, it’s hard to see what’s actually inside. When you let the snow settle, the picture becomes clearer.

Meditation is one way we let the snowglobe settle. Not to change anything, but to see what’s actually there. The beliefs. The habits. The meanings we’ve attached to our behaviors.

When we slow down long enough to notice what’s driving our actions, we get access to choice.

Mindfulness doesn’t tell you what to choose.
It gives you back the ability to choose.

That choice might still be to move quickly. Sometimes speed is aligned and appropriate. The difference is that it’s no longer automatic or unconscious.

When Speed Stops Being a Tool

The real issue isn’t speed itself.

It’s when speed becomes the only way you know how to move through life.

When rushing is the only way you feel valuable, it stops being a tool and starts being a rule. And rules that operate unconsciously tend to create exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection over time.

That’s why so many people reach mid-life and feel empty despite looking successful on paper.

Awareness loosens that grip. Not by demanding change, but by creating space.

Space to notice, decide, and move at a pace that actually fits the moment you’re in and the person you’re choosing to be.

This work isn’t about rejecting ambition or idolizing slowness. It’s about understanding your patterns well enough that they don’t run you by default.

And that, to me, is what mindful living really means.

To practice mindful living together, consider joining Mindful Mavens. It’s my monthly community dedicated to exploring and shifting our current patterns —  including thoughts, emotions, and the choices we make in everyday life and business —  so that we can experience more ease, joy, and abundance ✨