Two Ways We Sabotage Ourselves in Business

There’s a pattern I see often with thoughtful, creative people who care deeply about their work. It shows up as overthinking and procrastination, also known as: self-sabotage.

Sometimes our brains move too fast, especially for those of us who have ADHD. 

We create something we’re proud of and immediately want to share it with the world. We hit publish quickly, jump to the next idea, and push for momentum.

Other times, the opposite happens.

We sit on something that’s already good enough for far too long. We delay posting it, revisit it repeatedly, or keep waiting to feel “ready” or “done” (neither of which are actual emotions and will just keep you perpetually stuck). 

In both cases, the intention is understandable.

One side feels urgency to create impact and share excitement.
The other side wants to avoid criticism, mistakes, and judgment.

Both often lead to the same results: feeling like a failure, believing you’re not good at business, wanting to give up, and burning out.

The Tension Between Impulse and Hesitation

In my own work, I’ve noticed how easily this tension shows up.

When I batch create something — like recording several videos or writing multiple pieces of content — my urge is to release everything immediately.

Part of me wants the excitement (and dopamine hit) of sharing, getting feedback from people watching, and the sense that something meaningful is out in the world.

But there’s another pattern that can appear.

Sometimes I have loads of content saved, and I hesitate to share it. The questions start showing up:

“What if people don’t like it?”
“What if it’s not polished enough?”
And worst of all, “What if no one cares?”

The result is that the same content that once felt exciting suddenly feels risky. Like it might ruin me or my business.

And instead of moving forward, it quietly sits in my content folder, never seeing the light of day.

Two Opposite Behaviors, Same Pattern

At first glance, these two behaviors look completely different.

One is impulsive. The other is avoidant.

One rushes ahead. The other freezes.

But underneath, they come from the same place: discomfort with uncertainty.

The unpredictability of how something will be received.
The uncontrollability of what might happen next.

In one scenario, the mind tries to escape discomfort by rushing past it. Ripping off the bandaid quickly to "just get it over with.”

In the other, it tries to escape discomfort by avoiding… which in reality keeps you suffering much longer.

Either way, we lose momentum and we start making it mean something about us. We let it shape our identity. 

The Mindful Middle

Mindfulness invites us to notice these patterns without attacking ourselves for having them.

It helps us pause long enough to ask:

What’s actually needed here?

Not what fear wants.
Not what urgency demands.

What the moment actually calls for.

Sometimes that means slowing down.

Sometimes it means taking action before you feel ready.

But the key difference is that the choice becomes intentional instead of reactive.

Practicing Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism

One thing I’ve learned over time is that harsh self-criticism doesn’t actually improve our decisions.

It just makes the process heavier.

What actually helps is kindness and curiosity.

Instead of saying:

“I’m doing this wrong.”

You might ask:

“What do I know to be true right now?”

Often, it’s that I can take it one small step at a time.

And small steps are exactly what creates momentum, and ultimately, results.

If You’re Stuck Right Now

If you notice yourself stuck in the same cycle — overthinking, procrastinating, waiting for the “perfect” moment — or on the flip side, wanting to rush and do everything at once — you’re not alone.

It happens to thoughtful, capable women all the time.

To help interrupt that spiral, I created a free 20-minute audio reset called From Stuck To Started.

It’s designed for the exact moment when you know you need to take action… but you can’t seem to get yourself to start.

Sometimes the most important shift isn’t waiting until you feel ready or rushing just to get it done.

It’s choosing the next step intentionally, in alignment with your core values.